Febuary 25, 2025

The first time I ever heard of SHINee (which I thought was pronounced as shine) was on the MySpace bulletin boards around their debut. Fast forward to now, anxiously trying to find how to get to my last-minute upgraded seats. Thank you, Kia Forum; you have no maps or directions anywhere! It’s been a long time coming. My upgraded seats may be closer to Godmin, but I failed to remember that we are short as hell, 5 feet and less than 5 feet. I swapped my almost nosebleeds for floor and even if there were seats, everyone was standing up and filming, much to my millennial annoyance. O. was standing on the chair so they could see some. I had to be on my tiptoes in front of a lady with a giant hat… It didn’t matter; the songs reverberated through my heart, his voice heated my face, and the unity and love given and got was equal and beautiful. To share such a tender and intimate display of fandom, fanaticism, excitement, and bittersweetness with 13k people was MOVING. I could hear conversations of other Shawols, how they waited for Taemin for so many years. People younger and older than I. 3 generations of ladies all there pumping their lightsticks in tune to music. Ugh, I love to see people love things, people, and music! It was just as enjoyable as the show! Humanity! Oh, and the performance was great, duh! Taemin was real, yes, I already know this and treat him as such, but he was real IN FRONT OF ME, in the flesh, breathing the warm LA air with me! A few feet away. He was small, pale, and so beautiful. Pictures and film do not do him justice. His real beauty was his grace, his shyness, his sincerity, his smile, and his laughter. Oh Taemin the mortal man! I love you so fucking much! Seeing him smile, genuinely, at us singing, except during one song because a lot of us don’t know Korean, soz babe, the fan project, which was beautiful banners and a video, sent me straight to heaven. It’s nice to know and see him receive so much love in return for the years of entertainment we have received. Payback! Anyways, my life is forever changed, and I can’t wait to see him again, hopefully closer or with large NY DOLLS-style platforms. I will always wait for you, Taemin! Set list, can you believe I HEARD DANGER?????

• Deja Vu
• Guilty
• Advice
• Goodbye
• IDEA
• Heaven
• I'm Crying
• Not Over You
• The Unkown Sea
• Blue
• G.O.A.T.
• The Rizness
• Sexy In the Air
• MOVE
• WANT
• Want More?? Criminal
• Horizon
• Waiting for Encore
• Danger
• Crush
• Say Less
• Hypnosis

picdump:

tags:

personal, picdump, concerts, kpop

January 6, 2025

This last Thursday to Sunday morning, I was forced to have a houseguest. I still managed to find some happiness. Happiness in not eating, not sleeping, delirium. What better place to celebrate and heighten one's delirium than going to DTLA. DTLA! So much to answer for, so much to adore. The only place that makes me happy, the only place I can feel, heal, and connect to. She's my only true friend, confidant, lover, sunset pal, hand holder, mother, and father. Well enough sop! We went there and did all our fave things. We went to Little Tokyo, used the gachapon, went to the market, waited in line awfully long for taiyaki (red bean paste & Nutella), and bought overpriced stuff, but that is just the appetizer. We sat at my fave place. The sun had just set, the moon and some planet decorating the dusk. A plane passed overhead. Our little treats, my cold kona in a can, deep unfathomable retrospect, the gorgeousness in the NOW, being still, talking lightly. I never wanted a smoke so bad, but I promised to quit, and you HATE me smoking. A few yards away, young women in groups piling on steps, a pearl of laughter, a shared puff puff pass. Only this beautiful city can make simplicity romantic, nostalgic, tragic, and more. The magic of the night! We continued past the museum, Hall of Justice, and Bunker Hill. Nothing is as ravishing as you, you old LA Times structure; nothing can make me hate you. Why do I need to go home? It won't cost a thing if you let me in. Can't I come in? I don't want to go home; I am home!

picdump:

tags:

personal, picdump, LA

November 29, 2024

Today was another one of those days that melts into others. Not necessarily in a negative context. Sleep late, wake up late. Breakfast and some numb. All good things to prepare me for what is probably gonna be a hectic and long week. I have been out of a job for a bit, having quit my last one, and now i may be entering the workforce once again. So this calm before the fucking storm is what i needed. If only i had cigs but there’s more pressing matters to be taken care of then my chain smoking. I talked to F. yesterday. Shared with him things I’ve never told. He shared his secrets too. We made a date to eat sometime. The two of us together again can be bad news. Me, a sober alcoholic, and he, a not so sober alcoholic. The draw of the drink will almost be too much maybe? Maybe this is why i have avoided him. Anyways. O. is currently reading the Catcher in the Rye for school. We were just discussing it for a paper she’s doing and we cried. Oh look at us. Big softies. What a time to feel and be alive. Tears remind me I’m still here, I’m still human and i can still feel damn it.

tags:

personal