about me?? ^^;;

credo.

the name's nervs but my friends call me something that non-friends don't know! I'm an Angelino first & human second lol. A millennial with any pronouns but prefers they/them. I like synths that make warm, brassy sounds and that one CHONK CHONK orchestra sound from the song Wait by Wang Chung. I’m an obsessive, a true fanatic about things I love (historical figures, Los Angeles, video games, dead poets, films, music, philosophy, politics, researching, cataloging, archiving, the internet, web design, old Hollywood, & music CHISME), and I am a fanatic of people who are fanatics; nothing more endearing than seeing someone love a thing! ^^ I also have hobbies like photography, sewing, drawing, phot editing, kpop poca collecting, traveling, etc., but it’s really my obsessions that drive me; otherwise I’d find no reason to exist! I have had a lifelong, childhood obsession with death, melancholy, etc. typical Capricorn, right? My fears sometimes rule my life, but I am working on it! I consider myself a true loner (INTJ-T things?)and can count my friends and loved ones on one hand. I tend to have my guards up, and my heart is a near impenetrable wall, so sorry if I am bad at interactions!
it me. nervsy!

^ↀᴥↀ^

rest in peace eternally Merlin & Turu
Lucifer at Christmas 2024 Merlin aka Murphy with my synth
Turu, soft ambient woman Wolfie cold bundle
Ritz the baby cat

my fortunes

an admirer is concealing affection for you.
someone in your life needs a call from you. seize every opportunity to grow.

lucky charms

two dollar bill so I will never be broke, santa muerte shrine picture and prayer card San Judas and a crystal in a bag I hang on the hinge of my bedroom door for protection, metal cat above my mirror for protection & superstition, bell I hang on door to ward off bad spirits & vibes, Pheonix Bakery cake topper from O.s bday for luck red beads given to me by Russian pts. for luck/ward off evil, Santa Muerte charm for protection & more Oasis Be Here Now reference charm I carry on wallet my beloved pal N. made for me. I use it to remind myself that love & friendship exist & it brings me luck & protection because of such a love

citas

“Death is the bluest of paths.”
-René Crevel

"I am morbid and miserable. My Mind must be rotten, I think.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

"I almost do not exist and I know it;"
-Fyodor Dostoevsky

"What is it that moves us when we see a man animated by some great passion? Is it his words? Sometimes. But what never fails to stir us is cries, inarticulate words, a broken voice, a group of monosyllables with paused in between, a murmur, impossible to describe, deep in the throat or between the teeth."
-Denis Diderot

“The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.”
— Cheryl Strayed

‘I’m Not Searching for Myself, but for the Media. I Don’t Know Who I Am, I’m Not Interested.’
-Hugo Claus

icons idols imagery

LA's Finest!! Moz & Marr Dusty <3 Halloween Jack Hustler White Jitka Kolínská (1930-1992) — Lemon and Golden Cage [tempera and oil, on canvas, 1961] Ana Mendieta: Siluetas Series (1973) PC gone to the Heaven LAN party The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp (detail). By Rembrandt, 1632 Siobhán Hapaska, Robot, 2001 “feeling your absence” (2010) by mathilde roussel-giraudy

thingy.

click on imgs for info ^^

RIP Soobin, you would've loved Soogyu Yaoi Bernard & Ian... look! don't you DARe judge mEEE
Buffy deserved better but they were HOT AF IDK I like that Ranma & Ucchan knew each other as kiddos.. idk..
it's 2025 and I still have Marrissey brain rot, THEE OTP divorced dads come home!!! Classic Doomed Yaoi OTP, Dalí y Lorca
Erik & Christine have the perfect doomed toxic het romance we'd want
Johnny & Jerry, the real gruesome twosome. May they rest in Peace together finally Writing so bad they are almost a notp but what the heck, a dude can dream of Bensler...
Breton and Crevel, the only way to explain them is to write a 10 million page slow burn one sided friends to enemies to friends major character death fanfiction except it was real. Char blamed Crevels death on Breton, I'll leave it there.. Martyn Ware & Phil Oakey... frenemy hell
Nick & Nora & Asta, more like OT3 Mozart & Salieri... do I even have to explain? Honestly ship them more for the Amadeus film but them irl is also tasty
Wolfie and Stanze are goals, so sweet :-; What if Adriana and her government asigned FBI agent fell in love? Danielle aka Deborah... it was you Fredo.... DEEP SIGH!!!!! Last Podcast on the Left my fave spots in LA

etc.

2025 concerts

TAEMIN: Ephemeral Gaze Tour, Kia Forum 022325

books read 2025

random yt vid playlist

curently:

re/watching: (re)the x files s01, (re)family matters s01, (w)link click s02
reading: Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes, The Perfect Affair by Angela Henry, Idol Dreams Vol. i by Arina Tanemura
working on: finding a job, art, simple layouts, staying sane other web page...